The Bean Has Sprouted

Gosh, so, SHE'S HERE! And at 20 days of life, my little perfect Bean has rocked our worlds.

Funny, reading through my previous posts...I really had absolutely NO idea what we were in for...not the overwhelming love, the constant worrying, the zombie-like sleep deprivation mask I now wear, not the amazingly tender emotions I have watching Handsome care for our girl...and certainly not the deep satisfaction of holding her and watching her take in her new world, wanting to simultanously share it with her and save her from it.

Of course I remember what my life was like 21 days ago before in the middle of making a spaghetti dinner for Handsome my water broke and everything changed, but WHO CARES? That life seems fine, okay, I had an amazing year before she got here full of great moments, but WOW I cannot express how much more EVERYTHING means now. And hell, I think I have morphed into a gusher! Huh.

14 hours of labor, three rounds of attempts to keep my epidural wokring (which continuosly failed), screaming at the hospital staff regarding thier obvious mistake in screwing up my epidural and to get it working 'cause what the hell else SHOULD they be doing?, bargaining with the various Gods for relief, two very long hours of pushing the Bean out into the world, screaming at Handsome that he was COUNTING TOO SLOWLY during my pushing efforts, and one hell of an episiotimy (sp? regardless, it was a bitch) resulted in only what I can describe as the most perfect little girl I have ever laid eyes on. Wouldn't you agree?

Lucky for me, my Mother was able to fly from Florida a week later, and she saved me from my household chaos of cat hair and unprepared attempts at arranging things to accomodate the Bean. She made sense of our small rowhouse, helped me to realize that I can care for the Bean and that I am doing okay, got my post-partum blues in check, sent Handsome and I out on a date for my birthday, convinced us not to mix formula with TAP water (duh?), and taught us how to bathe the poor dirty baby. And we have had other visiting members who have given Handsome and and I ample breaks from changing diapers and mixing up formula.

As I type this, I am sitting in my bookstore, wishing for a customer or two, but thrilled to be here. I miss my Bean quite terribly, but it is nice to restore some kind of order to my world, even though I remain prepared that this semi-false sense of security will be shaken up in a few hours.

Handsome's parents are in town and want to host a dinner at our house tonight for the family...which means 8 of us (and three felines) playing musical chairs with the limited seating we can offer, not to mention the total lack of dining space (as in, a total lack of a dining table or any kind of appropriate eating space). I couldn't really say NO when the suggestion was made (No, do not feed the family? I just didn't have it in me!). So it will be interesting, as my adventures with my in-laws usually are. Hopefully the baby will not get too over-stimulated with the company and the cats won't shit in their box until after the meal has been consumed by all.

And I will survive this dinner thing with a smile on my face, because in two short days, I can resume my 24-hour pajama parties and will have Handsome and my Bean all to myself again.