Belly Dancin'!

After waiting and waiting and waiting for the physical proof that the Bean is growing in there, whoops THERE it is.

Now the public can assume that I am pregnant, not just fat. But this added 20 lbs of bambino goodness is a hell of a thing to be lugging around, especially in the record-breaking heat in the Charm City. A "feel-like" of 109 today...which in my world feels-like I have ingested a watermelon whole and that I will sweat like I have just returned from an aerobics class.

But this assumption from the public has brought on a ton on nonsense as well. Never before have I really let other people's opinions or judgments really affect me, but my raised level of hormones has me consciously aware of the grapevine's wrath...and in Baltimore, it is the inescapable. The Mayor might as well weigh in on how I am handling my pregnancy, and it can be debated as the "water cooler question of the day" on WBAL's morning news program. It wouldn't surprise me, honestly.

There has been the "concerned" effort of a bunch of bar people that used to be "friends" of ours that were up in arms because I had two glasses of wine at a friend's going away party. Really, you would think that I birthed the baby in the restroom and left it in the trash or something. For fuck's sake an occasional wine is recommended to some of us who are a tad high-strung or dealing with insomnia, so fuck off already. An old lady in the grocery store shoved hunks of cow meat in my direction as a reminder that I need to get protein. Mo' protein! Then there is the constant reminder from people in my office that my ass is getting large and did you know, you can take cycling classes up until your 38th week?!. But the star of these situations pretty much lies with my most recent trip to Starbucks: The 18-year old employee there informed me that they would no longer serve me any caffeinated drinks, and that I should know better.

Again, for fuck's sake.

2005 has been a whirlwind of absolute change for Handsome and I, from getting engaged to racing through a wedding, to opening a bookstore, planning for a baby, giving up our social networks since we don't drink or smoke anymore, muddling our way through Summer courses, and trying to figure out how we are going to survive through the next six months. We have had to accept that the friends we thought we had invested in are really not, well, friends anymore. And that really, we kind of LIKE being home just with each other, not having to deal with other people's drama, cocaine binges, drunken fights, and lost dreams. We have had to entirely shift gears on all that we knew.

So if I am going to indulge in a fucking frappacino or get it on with a REAL latte to survive the four hours of math class that I attend twice a week, eat beans instead of meat, lay around on my ass reading instead of shaking it at the gym, or god forbid I have a glass of wine, please PLEASE keep your opinions to yourselves. I am kind of done defending my pregnancy choices to the world.