Breathing Room

It has become almost terrifying (read: socially paralyzing) to run into people I know from Before The Bean. I have no idea what to say to them other than:

"I KNOW! Crazy, huh? They did indeed let me leave the hospital with this child...ME! I KNOW!", folllowed by some head shaking and appropriate chuckling.

I got nada for these folks in the way of the grapevine or anything beyond baby talk...at least I may be providing them with some fodder for thier late night bar conversations, "Boy, ran into Devine today with her new baby...kid is ADORABLE, but wow did she get fat!" Or something to that effect.

Point is, I want to run and hide from the Devine That Was and the Devine that still can't put money in the meter in Mt. Vernon before running into two or three old acquaintances who most likely reek of beer and cigarettes from the night before...cripes. I didn't have any idea that this would happen to me, ME, I KNOW. Now, I just want to be the Devine Mother That Is - not nearly caring that much about the spare tire left behind by pregnancy around my middle, not caring that much if Girlfriend may or may not like me, not caring about much else other than whether the Bean is properly covered up in this Fall weather...Not that the people I run into are bad or wrong or even all that offensive in the body odor area, it is just that I have nothing in common with anyone other than my Handsome, who is as equally smitten in baby land as I am. I have no grounds for even trying to conjure up the Devine That Was in order to fake my way through friendly conversations. It is just going to embarass all involved. So this has to serve as my apology...I hope that I return to a more socially acceptable state of mind in the near future, but until I do, give me some room. Sleeping in two or three hour spurts has left my family hibernating in the smarts department.

And please, do see the Family Guy Movie that just came out...it was really working with my own insanity and has to be one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. Especailly since Lois is bombed in the opening credits and shouts "Fuck Yeah!"