Devine on 30

My 30th birthday started out as any other normal Monday, with the usual chaos of getting myself, my Bean child, and our lunches ready for the day, scrounging around the usual spots for coffee money (Handsome's pants, Handsome's night table, under the bed, in old purses), all with assistance and humor from Handsome.

I had to go into work early (as in 7:30 in the morning early) to gear up the department for a little thing called a Final Exam for my students. If anything, I needed to be sure that the exam was distributed, and birthday girl or not, I had to be there. Not only did I have the Final Exam to get into the hands of our eager and nervous students, I had MY own little midterm exam looming over the day for my Meteorology course. Oh, and I was turning 30, of course.

The walk to work was pretty "refreshing" lets say, since it was about 40 degrees and it never crossed my mind to grab a jacket before running out of the house like the witch from the old Bugs Bunny cartoons, hairpins spinning in her wake.

I finally got into my building and was (mostly) patiently waiting for the elevator, holding my ears to warm them up and convincing myself that since it was MY BIRTHDAY, getting a bagel with real cream cheese (not light) was allowed. As soon as I got the Final Exam on its merry way, that was exactly what I was going to do. Birthday bagel. You only turn 30 once.

Get on the elevator hit my floor, and wonder whether or not there will be a line of students needing to borrow a pencil or batteries for thier calculator waiting outside of my office.

While stamping my feet on the ground in hopes of getting some warming circulation, I finally noticed that the elevator had passed my floor and came to rest on the 9th floor - without opening the doors.

So of course I banged on every button possible.

The banging produced no results.

Holy Shit, I was stuck on an elevator.

Holy Shit, the exam was due to start in 15 minutes.

After some more frantic button pushing, a voice finally announced that "someone would be on the way shortly." The voice also agreed to call my supervisor to let her know that I was indeed holed up in an elevator shaft, and would she mind distributing the exam in my place?

After making human contact, I calmed down. I mean, its not like there was any mechanical groaning or swaying going on. I was just stuck in a metal box, 9 floors up.

I could do this.

Maybe this was God's gift to me on my birthday - Go on girl, you jest go on and take you a nice rest now (God has a Southern accent in my mind), and I am gonna take care of that exam nonsense fo' you. Go on now, hear?

So I whisked out my tattered flashcards for MY exam, settled in on the floor, and started quizzing myself on the Corilous Effect and the definitions of isobars and barometers.

And it was great for about three minutes. And thenI started panicking.

Well, before the true panic set in, I got mad. I mean it was my 30th BIRTHDAY after all - so what is THIS all about. And then I started thinking about all the mechanical things that could go wrong and The Bean and Handsome and the Cats and the crotcheting project I always thought I would finish. And the floor of this elevator was DIRTY. I needed to get out.

Panic Panic Panic, and then I decided no more panic, just to reflect on what a great birthday weekend it was. Yes, yes, happy thoughts, Devine. Back to the time you weren't suspended in the air in a steel box.

The In-Laws took Bean Child for Friday night, and Handsome and I painted the Charm City a fine shade of red. We partied like we did before we even lived together. On Saturday, we slept in for the first time in a year and ate bad delivery food and watched bad TV. That evening, 8 friends went out to dinner. It was such an awesome mix of personalities that it actually worked, unlike my usual pot-luck personality clashes I bring together for no good reason. Sunday I met my dear friend from Florida, who made arrangements in her life for a visit with crazy me, for coffee at the brand spanking new Barnes & Noble in Charles Village. And the coffee was FREE. Definitely good birthday vibes.

I had one of the best birthday weekends of my life - full of friendship, laughter, books, and the Bean Child. Suddenly, 30 was starting to feel quite good. Good like the end of a British Chick-Lit novel.

Yes, happy thoughts helped me get through the next 15 minutes until finally the maitenance men banged on the doors to let me know that they were going to perform some Abracadabra Open Sesame Mojo on the doors to release me.

And when I was finally free, I tossed a quick wink and wave to my heroes and made a mad dash to the stairway to get to my office.

Upon arrival, my boss began laughing and shouted HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Maybe it wasn't the worst thing to miss handing out the exams. As a matter of fact, being freed of all exam responsibilty was a fabulous gift from an unknown benefactor. And now I can add "being stuck in an elevator" to my list of life experiences.