From 2007 to 2008

HOLA! It certainly has been a ridiculously long time since I last added anything to this poor, neglected blog. In fact, it was sweltering hot at Handsome's birthday party when I last made an entry, whereas today, the windchill factor is at (fucking) 9 degrees. 9! I have missed contact through seasonal changes and the holidays...which really says how okay life has been lately. I haven't had much to bitch about or whip into a humorous entry just to survive my way through it.

*side note to Uncle John who has learned that I do have a blog and has probably found it by now. Cursing in a blog is fun. I can't do it at work, I can't do it at home or my Bean repeats it at school. This is a great outlet and I know you want to curse to! You have been warned, and enjoy.

The announcements forthcometh:

The Bean turned 2 like a little Champ, entered pre-pre-school, and is becoming bi-lingual, speaking in English and Spanish - even enough to have created her own Spanish word "Co-LACHA" which she says with some Latina Flair. This child is so freaking smart it is unnerving. She is totally bossy too, which she may or may not have gotten from me.

I survived another semester at Hopkins - GPA 3.7 (woot!), however, I will be taking some time off in 2008 to grow our SECOND CHILD OF FABULOUSNESS, Devine Ala Dos Bambino, due July 4th, 2008 (please, bambino dos, don't come out all patriotic and republican - sorry again Uncle John, if you are reading this) . This pregnancy is totally different from last time - I have hardly had time to even care about feeling nauseous or tired - the Bean has kept me literally running after her. Which is probably why I feel so great most of the time, and why many people told me that the second pregnancy is so much easier and happier. I hope this trend continues. I no longer hate those women who flap on and on about "feeling great" during pregnancy. But I am eating like its my job though, and do have that FAT-ASS fear lurking in the back of my mind, far behind the food-cravings part of the brain, but there nonetheless. So now I just hate those women who get those perfect little basketball bellies without the Fat-Ass or Fat-Necks. Those bitches are unfairly lucky. Bitches.

We traveled to see my family for the holidays for the first time in about 7 years. It was really amazing to roll the car windows down and bask in the 75 degree weather on Christmas Day, and to take the Bean for a walk with my Mom and enjoy the sunshine. I truly miss living in Florida. We had the good fortune of enjoying the company of our California family members as well, and Handsome and I really enjoyed our visit with all of my family. Its weird, but MY family rarely stresses me out. We had a great vacation, and it broke my heart to come back "home".

The only downside to the traveling was the expenses, naturally, and that Airtran lost ALL of our luggage AGAIN. This happened last time we traveled to Florida as a pack. So this morning I didn't have a hairbrush, toothbrush, nada. I had to use an Ariel Princess hair comb designed for a barbie doll to brush my hair.

Happy New Year everyone - I am sure 2008 is going to be great. If only because fucking Bush's days are ticking away!

Happy 30th Birthday, Handsome!

Happy 30th, Handsome Husband! I am lucky to be your wife, your friend, your partner, and the one who can make you laugh when its 107 degrees in the house. I love you!

Living in Wild, Wild West

8/25/07 - Robbery About 9 p.m. Saturday, a gunman entered Kenn Tenn Tavern in the first block of N. Chester St. and fled moments later with more than $100.

8/27/07 - Police, who said they did not have an address for Dwight McDaniel Baker, 35, said they were unsure whether he died of the gunshot wound or drowned after his out-of-control vehicle crashed through a concrete wall and into the pool at Brown's Northwest Baltimore home early Saturday.

8/27/07 - No arrest had been made and police knew of no motive for the city's latest reported slaying, the 204th of the year. About 2 p.m., police found the victim, believed to be in his early 20s, lying in the 1900 block of Cecil Ave. in the city's East Baltimore Midway neighborhood across the street from the cemetery. Police called an ambulance, and the victim was taken to Johns Hopkins Hospital, where he died shortly after arriving there.

Christmas in July

Ho Ho Ho.

Its a good thing that only my sister-in-law from my mother's side of the family reads this as we are planning our family's night at the Family Reunion to be a surprise CHRISTMAS IN JULY party.

the email I sent to my homies in the clan:

Here is a list of what I just ordered - Mom is getting melting snowman bean bags to decorate the table, Christmas kazoos (to do the xmas songs with) and inflatable xmas balls for the pool...

		Prefix	Item #	Description	Personalization	Qty.	Units	Shipping	Price
		IN	4/699	JINGLE BELL NECKLACES		2	DZ	Est Delivery 7/16/07	$4.95
		IN	4/3841	CANDY CANE FOIL BURST		2	PC	Est Delivery 7/16/07	$2.29
		IN	4/1689	PLASTIC SNOWMAN HOLIDAY TABLECLOTH		2	PC	Est Delivery 7/16/07	$1.29
		IN	4/3836	CHRISTMAS CUTLERY		3	UN	Est Delivery 7/16/07	$2.99
		IN	4/3276	ELF HATS		1	DZ	Est Delivery 7/16/07	$2.95
		IN	4/3476	SANTA HAT W/FELT BEARD		1	PC	Est Delivery 7/16/07	$1.49

We are going to get ham and turkey for dinner, mashed potatoes, corn, green beans, rolls and gravy for dinner.
For dessert we are going to buy pre-made cookie dough and let the kids make xmas cookies.
I would like to serve the adults a Christmas cocktail called Poinsettia - triple sec, champagne, and a little cranberry juice. And serve the kids Shirley Temples (with cherries, add to shopping list)
I am going to copy some songs and hand them out per family to perform via kazoo.
We are NOT doing gifts. Thank the wallet.

** the Santa hat with felt beard is for BURRO DEVINE. Burro Ass! The Bean can wear tights and her silver shoes...and probably, that's all. And maybe some interpretive streaks from the washable markers. And my lipstick on her ears and knees.

Grocery List
5 bottles cheap-ass champagne
1 bottle Triple Sec
1 bottle cranberry juice
(note to Mom - bring the Ibuprofen to combat cheap-ass champagne)
1 big-ass can of cherries
2 turkey breasts
1 ham
1 huge-ass can of corn from Sams -ginormous.
1 huge-ass can of gravy
3 cans of those poppin-fresh whatevers for rolls
7 tubs of Country Crock Garlic Mashed Potatoes (and you know that E is there just for Dan Quale - VPs can change the world, I tell you. And get you in jail and then pardoned if yr name is LIBBY)
onion
2 boxes of butter
At your discretion tubes of cookie dough
2 bottles of Sprite for the kids drinks


Man, I can't wait for to get the F out of this ghetto and spend some time with my family this year. What a KLASSY grocery list!

One, Two, Three, Nose, Five, Thirteen

Dear Bean Girl - You are just shy of 21 months old. How is it that in such a short amount of time, that I can't recall what life was like before you came. Your Dad and I often remark just how bored and silly we were.

Lately you are extremely interested in bellybuttons, shouting NUDE BABY IN THE HOUSE, although when you say it sounds like NUDE HOUSE. When focused, you count up to 19, but almost always, you say NOSE instead of FOUR. You call all of the cats Boat. You are very attached to anything that resembles the Baby Bear from your favorite book, The Three Little Bears. You colored all over your grandparents TV in the beach house over Father's Day weekend. You have started to feed your stuffed animals your meals.

You have been experimenting with calling me Mama, Mommy, and Meghan - my title changes with your mood. When I pick you up from Yaya's house in the afternoon, I am always Mama, and you run with all your little gusto might to meet me at the gate for a major hugging session while shouting MAMAMAMAMAMAMA, and then you demand "Okay, Mama, juice baba Okay." You won't each much beyond apricots from Yaya's tree, spaghetti, strawberries, and cheese. I am currently wondering if I shouldn't just transition you into vegetarianism along with me as you don't seem to like meat, but I am not there yet.

I tell your Giggle Grandma everyday how amazing you are, and the little things that make up your day. You are my joy, baby girl.

My favorite phrases as of late:
"Yay, I DID it"
"Oh, okay, tank uuuuu."
"Apple"
"Hi Mama. Hi Daddy. Hi Boat"

Bean Dreams

Important Random Facts

USC.

USC stands for THE UNIVERSITY OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA.

USC does NOT stand for The University of South Carolina.

You might need this information at some point in your life.

I sure wish that someone would have passed that little tidbit of knowledge off to me before I had 80 expensive galleys of a USC football book printed with my brilliant fucking marketing plan to include a regional tour in SOUTH CAROLINA.

Good Job, Devine.

The Devastation of Book Worms

The 2007 Book Expo America proved to be everything I remembered it to be a few years ago...exhausting, thrilling, geeky, fabulous, schmooze-festy, and booze-fueled, only with many MANY more attendees and a serious lack of air-conditioning. And let me tell you, it really is unpleasant to deal with people in the book world while they are perspiring. Unless they are from The Today Show or something. But anyway, it was a HOT as well as a HOTT show in many regards.

I left my Handsome Husband and fabulous Bean girl and the Bad Cats last Wednesday, train bound for NYC at 6AM. You would think that early that the train conductors might take pity on a girl like myself, obviously exhausted and out of her mind with details, appointments, etc, etc, etc, and would NOT YELL AT HER WHEN HER SLEEPING BODY SLUMPED INTO THE ****EMPTY**** CHAIR next to her. I am not kidding - this horribly disgusting and mean woman kept waking me up any time she saw my body cross over the invisible line of "the other chair that you (me) did NOT pay to sit in." I hated her and calmed myself with visions of her fat lonely bitchy self eating waffles on a TV tray at night ALONE. Bitch. You should really get another job, one where you aren't such a BITCH all the time.

Anyway. So, I get up to NYC and the energy of being back in the City was so invigorating I chose to walk the oh, 20 blocks or so to the hotel at which I was an attendee of some marketing sessions. That wasn't the best of ideas since I was merely a sweat hog and not the fabulous Marketing Diva I planned on becoming when I hit the panels. I decided that while in NYC, it would be okay for me to smoke, too. Klassy, right?

After the sessions and a good nap, I met up with a colleague and we meandered through Central Park without any mission, really, other than to be outside in Central Park. I think it made both of us rather super-wistful about missing our respective children, so we indulged in some of the most amazing vegetarian food I have EVER had, and a drink to make us feel less sad about the absent bambinos. It was quite nice to be so low-key in a city that I almost ALWAYS get into trouble while visiting.

There was a little cocktail-party hosted by our company craziness that occurred, but nothing that a Polish cab driver found interesting when my colleague packed me into the car - hotel bound to sleep off my own silly over indulgences. She is very proud of "drinking you under the table" , though, so I can let her have it. It wouldn't be BEA without being just a little hungover. If you haven't been, you'll just have to trust me on that one. Suffice to say, my company passes out wine at 4 PM each day of the trade show...see?

My company was specifically promoting two of our most recently published titles which (thankfully) both proved to be a hit. I saw many old publishing and bookseller friends...some that were more than friends at one time...some that were never friends but I still find them intimidating so I stopped by to smile funny at them...some that will be friends but they don't know it yet. Handsome and BEAN WONDER CHILD came up on Friday to join in the calendar of events, and other than her scoring PINK EYE and keeping Handsome in the hotel with her sick self almost the entire time, it was a fucking blast!

Books we scored:
- Alice Sebold - Almost Moon (fecking weird stuff)
- Tom Perrotta's new book, which he signed to the Bean instead of Handsome
- a book on the Armenian Genocide (light reading for the train ride back)
- Sebastian Faulk's new one
- a book by COURTNEY THORNE SMITH from "Melrose Place" (heehee!)

and some other random goodies. Also spotted Richard Belzer and Stephen Colbert.

It took me many days to recover, but Baltimore doesn't look so usually shitty right now. =)