Imbibing 101

You know, last night was rather blogworthy, so what the hell? This entry will also give you an introduction to one of my favorite gal pals in the world, RC Science Girl, Ph.D.

I have been told that you are who you surround yourself with, and with RC Science Girl, Ph.D, I get the best of so many worlds.

RC Science Girl, Ph.D. is freakin' brilliant and understands and feeds my fetish for any kind of nanotechnology news, she invites me to all her high-falootin' fancy Technology Council meetings (for the free booze) and to Hopkins Alumni events (again, for the booze), has no problem drawing boobs on any available surface, is the kind of girl that you can make Janet Jackson boobie cupcakes for her 30th bday celebration and she actually gets it, hosts Thanksgiving dinners all throughout the year, bought the Bean a Grateful Dead onesie, will convince me to get a lap dance every now and then, and is one of the most genuine babes I have ever met IN my life.

And she is just as much a megalomaniac as I, which is why I have to mention her on here to get her to read it.

ANYWAY, so last night she got us tickets to this Johns Hopkins Alumni social thingee, which was a beer tasting with an "informative" Beer 101 lecture. We met up with other friends and included Brit Nerd Science Guy from the Office and his posse.

And before I go any further, this took place at Brewer's Art. And if you aren't familiar, Brewer's Art serves the most heavenly devilish beer in America. And it gets me into trouble more often than not. ESPECIALLY now that I don't hang there any longer and my tolerance level is at zero.

If there is anyone in the world who is out of place faking her way through an alumni social and pretending to sample Brewer's Art beers, it is this girl. I mean, come on, I think they may have named a monthly beer after me before the Bean was born. And if they didn't, well, frack, are they missing out.

So there are all these nicely dressed intellectual types sampling beer in the tiniest "beer" mugs I have ever seen. Of course, RC Science Girl and I somehow scored a pitcher and downed several mini pints before our group even knew what had happened. We did then share with Brit Nerd Science Guy from the Office and his crew, and it was right around Introduction time that I thought...huh...I wonder if that was the 10% alcohol beer...yeah, uhm, sure was. And by then it was too late. Way too late.

Unfortunately for the EXTREMELY boring lecturer, our table had more than sampled the first round of beer and were snickering at his Belgian-Beer-Hoopla-Fat-Guy-Hawaiian-Shirt before he said hello.

It didn't make for the most comfortable settings, I'll admit and apologize...but that guy, should he ever read this, should know a few things:

1. Mixing beer lecture with actual Brewer's Art beer was a stupid stupid idea. No one will be able to pay attention to you for long because they will be hammered.
2. If you are going to play at being an expert on brewing in Maryland, you might want familiarize yourself with the history of Yuengling Brewery, bitch. Mr. Yuengling came to CHARM CITY first, baby. Not PA.
3. That shirt just made you look fat.
4. We were all pretending to listen so that we could get more pitchers of the free beer. Of course I can't speak for ALL of the participants, but our table tried, tried REALLY HARD to be good and to pay attention. But dude, we were kind of bombed.

Although slightly tipsy, I realized that I probably was not going to get invited to another alumni anything for a while. Nor was RC Science Babe. Brit Nerd Science from the Office had the good sense to pretend not to know us for a while, so maybe He will get invited again. Not to worry, though, for when I clocked RC Science Girl drawing boobs on her menu and writing out an entire paragraph to me about her new bra purchased from the Gap, it seemed only natural to be banned from the intellectual crowd along with my favorite gal with a Ph.D.

It was so good to hang with my girlfriend again.