Going Bridal

My little brother, who is not so little anymore, is getting married in 11 days. And I love him dearly, but he has had some bitchy bitchy bitchy bridal moments reminiscent of my own. Weddings make people insane. They truly do...

The most recent upset centered around Handsome's and my inability to get our heads wrapped around the deadline date for a tuxedo rental from Men's Warehouse. We have no excuse for not getting this done other than a demanding little Bean and limited time for anything else, but my poor brother was PEEEEEEEE-OED that we didn't get this taken care of on time. Can't say I blame him, but I did get a little pissy with him when I got the email spank of "Well, if *Handsome* didn't want to be in the wedding party, he should have said so". Boo hoo!

Nah, I get it. We screwed up. And we DID get the tux fitted and rented all for only a $20 RUSH fee. So here is what Handsome and I are sending to the Bride and Groom this morning to hopefully lighten the mood. We faked an email address from Men's Warehouse too....

Dear Mr. (Brother) Devine of the Linton/Devine Wedding Party,

Thank you for contacting *Handsome* Devine to secure his fitting arrangements for your party's tuxedo rental.

Unfortunately, *Handsome* made it quite clear that he thought the style of the suit was "faggy" and stated that it made him look "like Pee Wee Herman". Even after explaining to him that all of our suits were designed to have our customers "love the way you look" and attempting to boost his self esteem through flattery, we were unable to calm his homophobic outburst.

Being a homosexual myself, I was highly offended, but for the sake of my company I tried one last time to assure him that he did not look like a "sissy fag on holiday"or "too gay to sit on the furniture" in your choice of suit rentals. He then snapped his fingers in a Z formation, called me "Mary" and stomped off in a huff.

I do believe that Handsome may not be interested in being a part of your wedding...I, however, would be more than happy to fill in for him as I truly believe in customer service and love to party hearty.


Yours Truly,

George Zimmer, CEO and Customer
Men's Warehouse

God, I hope my brother and his fiance find that funny. I certainly do.